Now this testing for me is nothing compared to the horrific testing or trials so many are enduring in this world, but in my little corner of the world this has been a continued testing for me that I fail miserably at every month.
During my womanly time each month everything around me usually becomes a 100 times multiplied than what it is. What I can normally laugh off, let go of and give over to God becomes not such an easy thing to do. I allow everything to get on my nerves, my mouth usually wants to go off like a firework show, and I find myself in my closet crying this monster is not me Lord please help me. The problem is I ask Him to help me but don't truly believe or expect Him to. I am basically having a pity party. I am one who doubts and is likened to a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. (James 1:6)
So what kind of attitude should I have during this testing? One that is clothed with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. I need to forgive and put on love. (Colossians 3:12-13) I should build up my house not tear it down. (Proverbs 14:1) Let me tell you this seems impossible when everything around me seems to being falling apart, driving me crazy, getting on my nerves, making me pull my hair out or just makes me cry. What is insane about it all is that none of it is ever as bad as my mind makes it out to be at that time. And when it is all over in a couple of days I realize this and have to do a lot of apologizing to all in my house.
What should I NOT do during this time and what can I do to let God use this situation to make me more mature?
I should not allow myself to excuse my behavior by blaming womanhood. Really?!?! Sin is sin and there is no excuse for my sinful and unrighteous behavior. I can not allow my tongue to cause a spark in which could cause my course in life to burn up in flames (James 3) or speak words that could pierce someone like a sword (Proverbs 12:18) or grumble about whatever is irritating me at the moment, because it is God whom I am grumbling against not man. (Exodus 16:8)
I am taking a stand and going to really devote myself unto the Lord especially during my “hard” time of the month. I am going to strive to have unwavering faith in the power of the Word of God. I am going to truly seek to live a righteous life before my children's eyes, an example unto them that no matter what trials or testings we face in our life that we can choose to allow those times to mature us or we can choose to allow them to destroy ourselves and those around us.
I may not be able to control the hormones raging in my body BUT I can control what leaves my lips and I can control if I want my actions to glorify God or not. Prayerfully our kids will remind me to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger because anger does not bring about the righteous life God desires. (James 1:19) I pray that I will be reminded that if I choose not to do what is right, that sin will be crouching at my door; because it desires to have me, but that I must master it. (Genesis 4:7)
This blog will be my accountability partner. I am going to blog of this battle between my Goliath and me. I hope that as you read this you will find hope in what I share and that you too if struggling will finally take the stand to knock out your Goliath. I am armoring myself with the full armor of God (not drugs) and TAKING the stand that I should have taken long ago. I pray that I will depend on God and act upon his wisdom that I know will lead, protect and equip me. I pray that through this testing I will be able to give God the glory for maturing my faith in His Word and His power and that I will have mastered my behavior during such a difficult time.
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